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It's been a while!

I have not posted anything for a long time! There is lots to update on, but I do not have the time right now. I do want to post a few pictures though. Parker turned 3 on August 10th, and had his birthday party at Chuckie Cheese on the 9th of August. It was fun. Parker was able to play with his cousins, and it was really nice to see all the kids together. It is still hard for me to believe Parker is already 3! WOW! I now have two 3 year olds. Below is a picture of Parker and his spongebob cake that I made.

Starting around Parker's birthday we have had some new house guests. My brother and his 3 kids have temporarily moved in. It has been a really full house with 6 kids and 4 adults. Not to mention we only have one bathroom!!! The kids are all loving playing together. I do feel bad for my brothers kids though, especially Nathan (who is 8). Nathan seems to be the most effected by all the crap that is currently going on. I just pray to god that something good happens for these kids. I will update more later when I have a chance. It has just been so hard to post with 6 kids running around. I feel as if I am going to be talked to death LOL!!

It's finally over! & more updates.

Court has come and gone with good results. "C" arrived at court and told everyone the truth about how she had lied. ALL charges were dismissed, and nothing bad happened. My brother's girl friend AKA Druggie actually apologized to my dad. I was pretty surprised about that. Maybe she is actually going to show some remorse, and try to be a better person. C did not apologize, and still could care less that she has caused this whole mess. My brother's girl friend is now finally trying to get help for her daughter. C will be seeing a shrink, and hopefully they will be able to help this child. Because everyone knows this kid needs help.

I am just thankful it is all over with. I am glad in the end everything turned out OK. So now life can go back to the way it once was.. at least somewhat. For Parker's birthday, it will be the first time my dad, brother, brothers girl friend, and kids will all be together. All of the holidays this past year were ruined because of C. So all of us being together as a family has been missed. I am really looking forward to seeing my brothers kids again, and letting my boys play with their cousins.

Parker is excited for his birthday too. I still can not believe my baby boys are growing up so fast. Parker will be 3 this year, and in October Bradley with be 4! Holy cow!!! And my youngest baby Dustin is already 17 months old! It amazes me how fast they are growing, I really wish time would slow down. Soon, Dustin won't even be in diapers. Potty training has already begun!

Lately Brad has been trying to push me to have another baby. I just don't know yet. Right now Dustin is mommy's little attatchment. He won't even sleep in his crib. Every night Dustin screams and reaches over his crib rails for me until I cave, and pick him up. Dustin falls asleep in our bed, and I have to carefully put him in his crib without wakeing him. If I wake him, he has to fall back to sleep in bed with me first. It was horrible the other night when Dustin insisted on sleeping in bed the intire night. Everytime I would try to put Dustin in his bed he would cry. The whole night Dustin slept on my arm cuddled up next to me. It was impossible to move!! My mom and husband keep telling me I have Dustin way too spoiled. It is really hard not to when he is attatched to my hip.
If we were to have another child, I think it would really break Dustin's heart. And honestly that is the main reason I am not ready for another baby. Do I sound crazy because of that?
I just need more time before we have another baby. Especially since baby # 4 will have to be our last because of my C-sections. Knowing that makes me really upset.

Beach Pictures

All of our boys the night we left. Brad took this picture :o)

Dustin looking mad

Bradley working on his big sand castle

Parker playing in the sand

Bradley playing in the sand

Dustin

Picky Eater

Lately my oldest son Bradley has been a very picky eater. Tonight we made parasean pasta for a side with our meal. Well, the pasta has those little green leaves in it, and Bradley refused to eat it because it had "yucky green things" in it. Bradley then creativly used his pasta to build a mountain. LOL at least since he didn't eat it, he had fun with it....

Parker on the other hand has been a eating machine. Parker loves to eat, and almost always finishes his dinner. Parker is really surprising me as to how much he can consume in a meal. The other day we bought 3 double cheese burgers and 1 small fry for our 3 boys. Bradley and Dustin both split one double cheese burger, and ate a few fries. Parker ate an entire double cheese burger and a few fries. Parker then told me he wanted a second cheese burger! Our boys are all so different. Bradley is like me, and doesn't really care for meat. Parker is like his daddy, and loves meat & will gladly sit down with daddy and eat a steak (YUCK!).

I do feel that Bradley is not getting enough nutritional foods. Bradley is very picky, and it is hard to get him to eat healthy foods. A few mornings ago, I made all three boys bagels with grape jelly on them. Bradley refused to eat the bagel because he hadn't eaten one before. I assured Bradley he had eaten a bagel several times and he just didn't remember. Bradley then called his breakfast "yucky and gross" then refused to eat. I then told Bradley his bagel was round toast with jelly. Bradley looked at his bagel then gladly ate it. Bradley asked daddy why his toast was round, and daddy replied "they didn't have any squared ones left at the store". I could hardly hold back a smile. Once Bradley had finished eating his bagel, he came over and told me "mommy, that was some really yummy toast".

Beach fun!

I haven't posted for a while. A few weeks ago Brad and I took a spur of the moment trip to the beach. It was great. Brad ended up having to use his last week of vacation (due to an injury) so we hurried to pack and left for the beach. We were really limited on money, but we were still able to have a good time. Bradley and Parker told us they wanted to live at the hotel. Bradley and Parker loved the indoor pool. Dustin did as well, but it would take him a few moments until he got used to the cool water.
We had a really good time though, and I can not wait to go back next summer! Although next summer we may get to go to Disney. Who knows..

Court for my dad is this Tuesday. I am worried, but feel that everything is going to work out. Ciara has finally come forward and is telling the truth, instead of the many lies she made up. Druggie will be meeting with the States attourney before court even begins, and depending on how that goes, the states attourney said all charges will be dismissed. The case will be dropped, and this nightmare will finally be over! I am sort of relieved, but not believing anything druggie says until it actually happens. So, I am just hoping that all goes well, and this crap is finally over with.

Well, I will post beach pictures later. Bye for now.

update

So finally some GOOD news! My father did his lie detector test and the results came back saying he did NOT lie! Of course everyone already knew he was telling the truth, and that C---- is the one lying. Well, anyways my brother tells Druggie about the results and she questions her kid. Well the kid could not keep her story straight and kept telling different stories. Finally Druggie tells the kid she knows that she lied. C---- breaks down crying admitting she lied, but blamed it all on her friend. C---- told Druggie that it was all her friends idea.

HOLY CRAP! The court trial, with extremely serious charges is in two weeks. NOW this kid is finally admitting how she lied all along. I knew she was lying, but it really troubles me that an eleven year old kid could lie to this extent, and not care that she is putting an innocent person in jail. I know hate is a strong word, but I really do hate that kid. She has screwed up our family, and everyone has been so stressed and upset. My poor dad who never did anything wrong, and is now facing up to 15 or more years in jail. This kid acts like it's all ok that she lied, and doesn't even care. She is going on with her life and pretending she never did any of this nonsense. I am really wondering what will happen with court now. Now that everyone knows 110% it's a lie, and the kid admitted she lied. Druggie is trying to get a hold of the states attorney to try and get charges dropped. No luck so far. UGH!! What a mess!! At least maybe things can be fixed. I am still worried, but hopeful it will all be over now that the truth is out. I really hope my brothers STEP daughter gets some help. A kid that can lie about something so serious and not care about the consequences is sick. She really needs some help!

Fire works!

Yesterday July 2nd my husband took the boys and I to see some fire works. The fire work display was supposed to be the "kiddie fire works" but they were pretty nice. Bradley and Parker sat with mommy, while Dustin sat on daddy's lap. I was really shocked when Bradley and Parker both jumped, and acted afraid for a few of the fire works that were real loud. Dustin on the other hand had no fear, as always! Dustin pointed his finger at the fireworks and laughed as they exploded in the sky. It was nice.
After the fire work display we went over to where my grandfather was to say hi. My grandpa helps at the carnival every year. We said a quick hello, and then we took the boys out for ice cream. Bradley, Parker and Dustin all had a really good time. And, so did mommy & daddy.

I am just glad we were able to see fireworks on Thursday since Brad works for the 4th of July. It seems like Brad always is shit on when it comes the the schedule at work. He never gets to spend the holiday's with his family.

Well, anyways Happy 4th of July a day early!

I'm scared :o(

For about 8 days or so I have had shortness of breath. I finally couldn't deal with it anymore and called my DR. The doctor told me to go to the ER. I then waited for my hubby to get home which wasn't until 2am. My mom watched our boys while my husband and I went to the ER. We were there until about 11:30.

It had to have been one of the scariest times in my life.. so far. Honestly I thought I was going to die. The Dr. ordered several different tests to be done, just with my blood. We waited for the results and they were not good. One test came back that I had clotting in my blood. Which the Doctor's were trying to rule out a blood clot in my lungs. Well, after hearing that I may have a blood clot in my lung I lost it. I was then ordered to have an ultrasound, an X-ray, and a CT scan. The worst of the tests was the CT scan. I have very tiny veins, and every time a nurse has tried to give me an IV it has been a disaster!
When I found out for the CT scan I needed an IV, I started freaking out. Brad (my wonderful husband) held my hand as I sobbed like a baby. I felt so stupid, and even stupider now! Well, after the IV was finally put in after having this mean nurse poke and probe in my arm (which hurt like hell) I was told I would have this stuff put in my IV so that they could see my insides on the CT scan. AHHH!! Ok, so before I go on, I am a total wimp when it comes to these things. So anyway, I was balling like a baby, and petrified about the unknown. In the end it was not that horribly bad, and did not take that long.

Waiting for those results was horrible. I just wanted to know what my fate would be. The doctors were discussing hospitilizing me for 3 days, while I was administered blood thinning medications to clear the clots in my lungs. Once the results came they told me great news "no clots". I was so happy, but the Dr. had a not so happy look. Oh great! I knew something was coming next.
The Dr. then went on to tell me that sometimes when they do the CT scans they find other problems. One problem they found - I was already aware of, and is not a big deal. The second problem I was not aware of. I have an enlarged heart. I was very worried about this, and I still am. The Doctors do not know what is wrong with me. I am still having shortness of breath, and pain in my chest. I am really scared! I have no insurance either! My appointment with my Dr. today told me I will need an echo cardiogram (I hope I spelled that right?). So, now I have to try to get some kind of insurance with this place who helps low income familys. I am really hoping we qualify, which I am sure we should.

During all of the craziness at the hospital, and all of the unknown, plus the feeling like I was going to die terrified me. It terrified me because I was afraid I would never see my 3 little boys again. I was crying to Brad, telling him all I wanted was to be able to see my boys. I want to be around for them, and watch them grow up. There isn't even any words as to how much I love my children. They are my world, and the thought of not being around for them terrifies me. I know I need to be around to watch over them, and protect them. I also don't want to leave behind my husband or my mom. My family means so much to me. I am so lucky to have my wonderful husband, who loves me just as much as I love him, and a perfect mom who does whatever she can for her children. I am lucky to have such a great family, and I don't want to leave this behind. I may be over doing all of this, but I am truly scared.

Recent photos

I wanted to add some recent pictures of our adorable little boys. The first one I am posting is all 3 of our boys sitting together. I was happy that I was able to get this picture. It is SO very hard to get a good picture of all 3 boys together.


The Second picture is a good one of our oldest son Bradley. It is so difficult to snap a good picture of Bradley. It has to be unexpected or Bradley makes goofy faces. I think this picture of Bradley is great. He looks so sweet. Don't mind his messy hair though :o) He's such a handsome little man.

The 3rd picture is of Parker. Parker is our middle child, and such a sweetie. Parker loves to make you smile, but doesn't know when to quit at times. Parker is always smiling nice for the camera and loves having his picture taken, he is my little ham. I love this picture of Parker. He's so cute.


Finally, a picture of my baby Dustin. Dustin is growing up so fast (just like his brothers are). Dustin will be 16 months old in about 2 weeks. It amazes me how fast kids grow up. I hate that! Dustin is my "bubby" I call him this all the time. He will come to me and cuddle, and crinkle up his nose and give me this cute smile. I wish all 3 of our boys would slow down, and not grow up so fast. But anyhow.. Here is a cute picture of Dustin just being goofy. Bradley, and Parker always used to do this too. So cute!

Family

I have always had a very caring and loving family. Yes we all have our problems, probably more then most. It has always seemed as if the black cloud of doom follows all of us. This past year in 2008 had been especially bad for my my mom (who lost her little brother). It was also very horrible for my dad (who has horrible lies told about him), and for my brother who finally left his ex who caused all the problems. Now I suppose it is my turn this year to have that cloud of doom strike me, and my husband.
Like I have written in previous posts, I have decided to be done with my in-laws. I had played the nice guy role for too long. My husband never got along with them, and even now things have not changed. Even I do not like them, now that I know them. Not only have they caused drama in my husband and my life, but they have hurt my oldest son Bradley on numerous occasions. Bradley does not like my husbands mother, and is afraid of her. My husband and I made the decision to stop seeing them. We feel this is best for our children. Bradley had even told me at one point that "ma-maw loves Samantha, not me". These were the exact words Bradley told me. Bradley had told me this after Christmas eve when he saw Samantha open a mountain full of presents while Bradley, Parker, and Dustin had the same amount as Samantha only divided between the three of them. It is obvious who these people favor, and it isn't right that my children feel belittled, and that they do not mean as much. I could tell it effected Bradley, and I am sick of my in-laws BS. My husband was 110% right about his parents. Now they threatened taking us to court about "grandparents rights". I spoke to a lawyer, and have him lined up for once we receive papers. I have so many reasons why I dislike Brad's parents. I am still so very angry that they feel they can harm my kids and correct them in a violent manner. Plus not to mention all the horrible statements my father-in-law made over the phone! My husband and I are done with his side of the family. So buh-bye forever you power crazy people!! My husband knew what he was doing when he ran from that family and did not look back. I am sorry Brad, god knows I wish I could turn back time and never have contacted them.

Happy Father's day.. a little late.

Happy Father's day to my wonderful husband. He is a good daddy, and I love him with all my heart. I felt bad on fathers day because we were not able to do anything fun, like we had originally planned. I will make another post as to why father's day was ruined. And all of the stress that my in-laws are currently putting us threw.

Here's a really cute picture of daddy and his little boys. I love them so so very much. They are my everything. Daddy was reading them their bedtime story in this pic.

The cough

The other day I was very firm with Dustin's doctors. I told them I wanted more done for his cough. They told us we could then take him for an X-ray. We planned on doing the X-ray this upcoming Wednesday when my husband is off of work. Well, wouldn't ya know Dustin has stopped coughing!!! The only time he coughs now is a few little coughs in the morning. He also slightly coughs when he is too active. But I am noticing it is very seldom now. I am so relieved it's finally going away. It's weird though because I was so insistant with the doctors the other day, that more needed to be done. Even though the dr. felt nothing more needed to be done besides the steroids. Well, all I can say is thank god my baby is finally getting much much better. I have been so worried.

Coughing for months

My little Dustin has been coughing for about 3 months now. He is getting several nebulizer treatments a day, but the cough remains. I am beginning to get more and more worried. The doctors have not done much for him, and he has been to the Doctors about his cough 3 times. He will be going again maybe tomorrow or Friday. I will be calling the DR. and demanding they see him again. I am so worried about him. Whenever he plays hard, he has a horrible coughing fit. Plus at night, and in the morning he coughs and coughs. Dustin also has a greenish discharge coming from his nose that he has had along with his cough. I just want an answer as to why he is coughing so bad. Especially with all the talk on swine flu lately. I want to make sure my child is OK, and healthy. I hate worrying like this. I just hope & pray this cough is not something serious.

It's June 16th..

SO.................



Happy Birthday to my big brother James! Today he turns 32!! I am unable to wish him a Happy Birthday so I figured I'd at least write it on here. Currently my brother is away on guard duty, so I don't have an address or anything for him. I will have to just wish him a Happy B-day on here until I get to see him.

Vacation slide show

It goes by too fast!

Tonight I was bored, so I was looking through some old photo's of Bradley & Parker. It really amazed me how much they have changed. Bradley will be 4 years old this October, and Parker will be 3 in August. I just can not believe my babies are getting SO big! It makes me cry looking back, especially at Bradley's pictures. Bradley now talks back, and can be a real meanie. I remember when he was the most well behaved little guy, and I felt so lucky. He was sweet, and loving, and so cute, (not that he's not cute now).
I had Parker when Bradley was only ten months old. I feel like Bradley missed out a lot because Parker and him are so close. Once Parker was born, I had to spend most of my time tending to Parker. Not to mention the horrible pain I was in after Parker. Some how my spinal was yet again messed up, and I had horrible back spasms. I also tore open part of the C-section scar, and ended up with an infection. It was a complete mess! Looking back, I just wish I would have watched the boys every second of every day. I miss when they were that little. It just makes me so sad looking at those pictures. I just want to reach into that picture and hug them. I'm lucky if I get to cuddle with them now. Bradley & Parker both are always playing and doing their own thing. Dustin is even becoming very independent. I hate how fast my babies are growing up.

I find myself complaining a lot lately because I never get a break from my kids. Bradley and Parker tend to fight with one another a lot, and it causes a lot of screaming. Bradley also is hard to discipline. If you try to put him on time out he screams, and is pretty mean. Parker is the same way! It's a 24 hour job, 7 days a week. It is the best job in the world, but my nerves do get shot some days. I know I am going to miss these days though. It kills me that they are going so quickly. In a few months my youngest will start potty training. Then I won't even have any more diapers to change. I probably sound nuts for not looking forward to having all my kids potty trained. I just know I am going to miss the "baby stage". Now Dustin will be entering that Toddler stage, while Bradley & Parker are now classified as preschoolers. Brad keeps asking me how I will react when Bradley & Parker start kindergarten. That is an easy question to answer.. I'll cry.

Vacation

Well, we are back from our vacation. It was so nice! But... there are 3 things I would have changed about our vacation:

1.) I would have changed the attitudes and behavior of my 3 little boys. My oldest, and middle sons were the worst!! Bradley would pick on Parker, and Parker would scream as if someone were killing him. Parker is known for his high pitched, window breaking type of scream. Ugh!! If only I could make him stop this behavior. At one point everyone walking past us gave us a look. Even a man in a SUV yelled out the window to Parker sarcastically saying "Don't be so happy". Another older couple jokingly said to me "Don't you wish they were in school"! Bradley also had his usual attitude. He was mean at times, and just plain disobedient. And an example of that is at lunches or dinner we'd simply ask him to sit quietly and eat. Or at least behave. Instead he wiggled in his seat, got up from his seat and at times ran around our table, he also hid underneath the table. Bradley also screamed and cried when he was angry. A waitress actually asked us what she could do to quiet Bradley down, and she brought him a balloon. I was pretty embarrased. Parker did the exact same thing. What was funny about the situation was the boys all took turns being bad except for one time. Oh, and lets not forget the tantrums when we had to leave the beach, and Funland!

2.) The WEATHER!! Oh my did we have some crappy weather those last two days! The first two days were great, we were on the beach both days and the sun was shinning, and it was comfortable warm weather. The last two days were rainy and then cold! The final day was the coldest! It rained almost the entire day, and the cold wind was the worst. Even though the weather was bad, it was still nice spending time together as a family.

3.) I wish we could have stayed longer. I really wanted an extra day or two to be sitting on the beach to enjoy watching my little boys having such a good time. Brad and I both loved seeing them have so much fun building sand castles and splashing in the waves. It was a great experience. I am looking forward to going back.

I will post pictures later. I have tons of pictures of all 3 boys enjoying the rides at Fun land, and a few of them on the beach. Sadly during our trip something malfunctioned with my video camera and my DVD got erased. I am still crushed about it. On this disk for the video cam, was our boys preschool graduation, and video of them playing on the beach with their daddy. It has broken my heart losing all these valuable memories. I do still have video of them on the rides that were on another CD because the other was full. Brad will be trying to have someone see if they can get the movie off the disk.

The memorial day curse

For the past 5 years or so every memorial day has resulted in something bad happening. I just do not understand it. Today started off fine for the most part. Brad took our boys out front and let them watch the parade. During the parade Molly (my black lab) freaked out from the noise from the marching band. I attempted to calm her down, but it was just too much for her. Molly was in her kennel to prevent her from hurting herself, but it did not work. She nawled and scratched at the kennel screaming! I took her out of the kennel and put her on a leash, and tried to contain her until the parade was over. Once it ended Molly was still pacing around the house being her weird self. Then I heard some rustling in the dinning room.. I looked and all of our boys were in the same room with us. I then went to investigate the sound. It turned out it was Molly who decided she would pull down a bag full of old chocolate left over from Easter. Molly ate 5 hollow chocolate rabbits. Chocolate is bad for dogs, and can be fatal. So we called the ER vet and were told to give Molly peroxide to make her puke. Ugh, it was such a mess, as usual. Every memorial day it seems like we are talking to the ER vet, or in their waiting room. Every memorial day there is some sort of catastrophy with our precious animals. 3 years ago Molly broke her kennel during the memorial day parade and once lose she chewed through a power surge protecter that was plugged in. When I found her she had blood all around her mouth and blood in her kennel. Then last year, Buddy died. There are other bad things that happened, but I can't quite remember all of them. There has been that many! At least Molly is OK, and in the end everything worked out.
Bradley, Parker, and Dustin all enjoyed watching the parade with daddy. They each were given a book, and lots of candy. It was fun for them. Next year I am getting tranquilizers for Molly from our vet though. Something needs to be done so Molly isn't so terrified because of the noise. Molly acts all tough, but she's such a baby!

Memorial Day

Last year on memorial day my beloved 1st dog Buddy past away. It will be 1 full year on May 26th. It still feels like yesterday to me, and I find myself crying over Buddy often. I never expected Buddy to pass away at the age of twelve. All of our animals have always been well taken care of, and lived very long lives. Buddy surprised me. Buddy was diagnosed with a heart murmur, and as a dog groomer I had seen many dogs who had heart murmurs, who were perfectly fine. So I thought that it just meant Buddy would need to be checked more often by our vet, or be on medication. Instead, Buddy died when he could have been saved. OLD Trail vet, now Old Trail VCA animal hospital, in my eyes is responsible for what happened to my Buddy. Dr. Lucas diagnosed Buddy with a heart murmur, but failed to rate Buddy’s murmur. Two other veterinarians asked us why Dr. Lucas failed to rate Buddy’s murmur. I ask myself this too. The other vets told us if Buddy’s murmur had been taken care of when it was first caught by Dr. Lucas that Buddy could have been put on medication, and his life could have been saved. Buddy could have spent at least another year or maybe even 5 more with us. Who knows how long Buddy would have gone on to live with his family. I will never know, because Buddy died in my hands. I was the one to first see Buddy, my small black fur ball that everyone at Animal Rescue Inc fell in love with. I was a little kid, and he curled up in my lap while I was volunteering. Buddy stole my heart, and he became my first dog. Growing up Buddy was more like a sibling then a dog. But all of our pets have always been “family” not just disposable animals like some people believe animals are.
On memorial day I found Buddy around 11am laying on our back porch after he had wanted to go outside. I had decided to go outside and sit with him, and instead found Buddy laying by the back door. Buddy’s eyes were wide, his soft brown eyes were full of pain. This picture will never leave my memory, although I wish it would. Buddy started foaming from the mouth, he was suffocating. I held his head and cried for help. No one could help him. My childhood dog, my friend, My Buddy. He took his last breath while I held him, and Brad carried his lifeless body to our car. Brad and I took Buddy on his last car ride to the Emergency vet in York. The vet was so companionate, and we lay Buddy in a back room on a soft dog bed. I sat next to him and cried for at least a half hour until I finally had to leave him forever. I had Buddy cremated, and I picked up his ashes a few weeks after he passed away. And it felt so weird walking into that vet, and telling them I was there for Buddy‘s ashes. Every other time I had picked Buddy up from the vet, he came running out wagging his big furry black tail. Buddy would jump all over the place and wine from excitement. He also had this distinctive high pitched yappy dog type of bark. Instead that day at the vet, I was handed a small wooden box, wrapped in brown paper that had the name “Buddy Douglas”. My heart is still broken, and I don’t think I will ever get over losing my dog. And I don’t think a lot of people can understand why someone would be so upset over losing a dog. Because most say “it’s just a dog” right? Well, they aren’t just dogs, they aren’t just cats, they are just as good if not better then most people in this world. Honestly I haven’t met many dogs or cats that I have not liked, but I have met a shit load of people that I hate.

RIP my precious Buddy. I will never stop loving you, and you will never ever be forgotten.

Bradley & Parker Graduated!

Bradley and Parker graduated from Preschool. It was SO cute! It was a bigger celebration then I expected. The school had a guy making all kinds of balloon animals & hats for the kids, face painting, a bounce house, games with prizes, a small petting zoo, and the graduation ceremony at the end. It was a good time!
Bradley started off bad, he had an attitude, and refused to talk to anyone or play. After a while Bradley did warm up, once he saw Parker having fun. Parker was such a good boy, and even got his face painted. The face paint was supposed to be a robot (picture of Parker below in the middle).

I am really proud of Bradley & Parker. They went up and excepted their diploma and gift from their teacher. And everyone clapped. It was just adorable. Next year Bradley will be in the 3 year old class, and Parker will be in the 2 year old class again (but different teachers). Parker will be in the 2's again only so Bradley and Parker are separated.

Well I only posted a photo of each boy. Bradleys picture is first, then Parker, then Dustin. I'll post more later.

Bradley

Parker

Dustin

So Excited!!

Currently I am counting down the days until our vacation. There are only 13 days left, and we are all SO excited! I have even packed a few things already, our towels, bathingsuits, suntan lotion, and beach toys. Turns out all that stuff actually didn't fit in one bag. I am worried about not having enough room in the van. Traveling with 3 children age 3 and under, requires packing a lot of stuff! Including the pack-N-play for Dustin to sleep in while we are at the hotel. The hotel where we are staying does not offer cribs or pack-n-plays. Our hotel is also the most inexpensive one we could find, so that is probably why.
Our van needs to fit the double stroller, the umbrella stroller, the pack-n-play, and all our luggage. I am sure it will all fit tightly, but it will work out.


I am also very excited about this Thursday which is Bradley and Parker's graduation from preschool. Mom-mom, pop-pop, Daddy, and mommy will all be attending their special graduation ceremony. We also plan on taking the boys out to eat after their graduation to their favorite place to eat, which is infinito's.
I am hoping Bradley and Parker behave at the graduation. Bradley told me he was afraid to graduate. I'm not sure that he understands what it means to "graduate" though!

Family

This year has been a rough one for my family. There has been a lot of stuff going on for my father, and brother. But it also effects my mom, my kids, my husband, and myself. It's all a bunch of crap to top things off. It all leads back to my brother's now ex girl friend, AKA Druggie. Druggie is good at ruining lives, and is a HUGE liar. She is destroying her own children, and has already ruined my brother, and fathers life. I really wish all the lying would come to an end. I am not going to go into details about everything (I have in older posts). But I really wish the drama would stop. And everything all leads back to Druggie and her oldest child (which is not my brothers child). My brother is very worried about his 3 children that are stuck with Druggie. Druggie makes herself out to be "mother of the year". Although she is on hard drugs, selling drugs, and an abusive liar. It all really makes me sick. I just pray that one day all her lies are exposed and she goes down in flames! And god protect my brothers children, they need it.

Also, I am angry with Brad's parents (if you want to call them that). I really wish I would have listened to my husband and never contacted his parents. Brad never got along with them, and told me he was mainly raised by his grandparents. Brad hadn't spoken to, or had any contact with his parents for over 2 years. I felt bad for them, being as I'm such a sucker. I sent them a baby announcement when I had our second child. After that Brad's mother started contacting me through email, even though I sent a note along with the birth announcement stating DO NOT contact us in any way. I stated I was only sending a few pictures of the boys to be nice since they had never seen our children. As time went by I convinced Brad to talk to his parents. Things seemed to go OK at first, then down hill. I was finally able to see why Brad wanted nothing to do with his parents to begin with. They are selfish and care about one thing, themselves. They are unwilling to help out their only child (Brad). There are other things that really piss me off about them too, for instance Brads mother hurting Bradley. Bradley is still afraid of her. And when he found a picture of them the other day, Bradley pointed her out to me and told me she is the "bad one and pa-paw is the nice one". I kind of shrugged it off, and Bradley also showed the picture to daddy and said the same thing. Although, I must say, I don't think either of them are the "nice one" I think they are equally the same. I really would like to know what took place that day Bradley got hurt, because it has really stuck with him. Brads mother must have really scared and harmed him for Bradley to remember it for so long! And these people expect me to leave my children with them again, they must be out of their minds!

It all just makes me thankful that I have great parents. My mom especially. My mom has got to be one of the greatest moms out there. She goes all out for her kids, and is the greatest mom, and Grandma. My boys love her to pieces, and she is definitely Bradley and Parkers favorite person. My family is so lucky to have her.

Chicken!!

So I chickened out of getting ten inches cut off of my hair! I ended up having 5 cut off instead. My hair is "boob length" now. I had it layered around my face, and it looks great. It looks like it did when I first met Brad 5 years ago. I like it. I feel bad that I couldn’t contribute it to Locks of Love, but I just couldn’t cut it all off. If I had cut off the ten inches my hair would have been at my shoulders. I just couldn’t deal with my hair being that short. I know I probably sound crazy, or selfish. But I have never had short hair, EVER! The shortest it has been was at my shoulders, and I cried. I guess before that the shortest it was was when I was a baby!

Well anyway, it’s done. I finally had my hair cut after 3 years of not cutting it. It does feel weird with those 5 inches gone. When I would put it in a pony tail before the hair cut, it would hit my but. Now, it’s in the middle of my back. Maybe she did cut off a little more than 5 inches.. I can’t tell. But she told me if she took ten inches, it was going to be too short.

Locks of love

Right now I am really considering cutting off my very long hair. If I do, I am deffinately donating it to Locks of Love. Currently my hair is down to my butt. It is so long I am having a hard time brushing it. If I did not have carpel tunnel in my wrists it wouldn't be so bad, but since I do, it is painful trying to brush my long hair. I have had long hair my whole life but at this point my hair is the longest it has ever been. A part of me is really afraid to have my hair cut, but then every time I take the 15-20 minutes just to get every tangle out of my hair, accompanied by the sharp tingling pains from my carpet tunnel, I feel ready to cut it all off!

Well, if I do go through with cutting off most of my hair, it will be tomorrow. So I will write about it, and post pics if I have it cut. Last time my hair was shorter was when I was 16, and it was a little past my shoulders (the shortest its ever been) and I must say seeing it that short I cried. So lets hope I don't regret this!

Funny picture

Dustin loves cups with straws. In this picture he was bringing me Bradley's kids meal cup. He was being so careful not to spill it. I just love his expression.

Thankful

Today I was bored, so I was browsing through blogs. I came across a blog about a baby who was struggling for it's life, and never got to go home from the hospital. In the end the baby passed away. It really broke my heart. Sometimes I forget how lucky I truly am. I have 3 beautiful, healthy baby boys. I have a wonderful, loving family. We all have our problems, and issues, but we are there for each other. Sometimes I feel so crappy, and act as if life is horrible. Then I read a story like I read about this beautiful baby that didn't get to experience life outside the hospital. I am just so lucky, and very thankful that my boys are healthy, and they are able to live normal lives at home with mommy & daddy. I love my children more then words can say, they are my entire world. My baby boys have stolen my heart. And so has my wonderful husband.

Upcoming events!

Time sure seems to be flying by lately. It's hard to believe Dustin is 14 months old, and our big boys will be graduating their 1st year of preschool! On May 21st Bradley & Parker will be attending a graduation ceremony. I am anxious to see this! We recieved the flyers today! We have to RSVP by the 18th, and there graduation is at 6pm. It will also be a family picnic afterwards.

A little over a week after the boys graduate, is vacation time! Woo Hoo! I am so excited for our 1st family vacation. During the boys last week of school they will be having a beach party. So it just works out perfectly! Bradley and Parker are also both very excited about going to the beach. It's great that they have something fun to look forward to. I am just day dreaming about sitting on the nice warm beach, watching out little boys play in the sand. Holding their hands as they have the ocean waves splash over their feet. I do expect Bradley & Parker to be afraid of the waves, but Dustin I think, will be the brave one. I am also looking forward to taking the boys in the pool at our hotel. It will be Dustin's first time in a pool. The closest Dustin has come to swimming in a pool was last summer when I held him over my dads pool and let his tootsies get wet (and he hated it then). Now that Dustin is much older, I really think he is going to enjoy it.

Well, I will be sure to post pictures of the boys graduation, once it happens. I am going to get it on video too. I am excited. Then again it will be bitter sweet for the boys since Bradley and Parker love school so much. They will have to wait all summer to go back again. And once they go back, it will be totally different. Bradley and Parker will be seperated in different class rooms, and Bradley will have a new teacher. My babies are growing up way too fast. I wish time would slow down!

Mother's Day

I just wanted to write a quick blog and say Happy Mother's day to all the moms out there. I am not doing anything special for mother's day since my husband is working, and my mom will be with my brother.
But Brad did surprise me yesterday when he came back home from the store. Bradley and Parker both came into the house holding a rose that they had picked out. It was sweet, and unexpected. I love being their mommy, and I love being Brads wife. Even though life can be hard at times, it's all well worth it.

I also want to wish my mom (the best mom out there) a Happy mother's day! I could never ask for a better mother then my mom. She is always there for all of her kids, and grand kids. My mom is even here for Brad, her son in law. Brad has even told me my mom's been there for him more then his own. And it's all been proven.

I just feel so lucky to have been blessed with such a great, loving, and caring mom. I am sure there are a lot of parents out there that wouldn't have dealt with such a rotten kid like I was growing up! I am just lucky I have such a great mom. Also, my mom has always worked hard to provide for her kids, and I can honestly say I never hurt for anything growing up. No matter what my mom always made sure my brother and I got whatever we needed, and wanted. And now that I am an adult, my mom is also my best friend. I can always trust and rely on her.

Happy Mother's Day mom!

When birds attack!

It has been so crazy lately every time Brad and I try to venture out to one of our vehicles. Recently a mother robin has made a nest inside of our garage right above my moms Saturn and our neon. Now anytime we walk by the garage or attempt to enter we are attacked by this bird. At first when Brad told me the bird was attacking him, I laughed. Then the other night we had to rush Molly to the emergency vet. I hurried to the neon, and quickly put Molly in the back seat. I then went to the passenger side of the neon. I looked upwards to the rafters where this bird has made it's nest. I then saw this robin (which looked angry lol) and it suddenly flew from it's nest and flew toward me. I ducked and quickly got into the car. This bird proceeded to bounce off of the windshield of our parked car! After this happened I was anxious for Brad to hurry up and get into the darn car. Brad arrived a few minutes later, and I told him what had just happened. He laughed, and said the classic "I told you so". I personally never would have imagined a little ol' robin could be so mean!

Before I go on, I will mention our trip to the ER vet. Molly cost us a whopping $240 just because she over ate and bloated. Bloat in dogs is a VERY serious condition. If the bloat turns into a stomach twist it can be deadly to a dog. In Molly's case we were lucky. She was just very swelled up, and was given meds to make her vomit, she did not have the classic bloat where the dogs stomach twists. By the way, this is the 2nd time this has happened with Molly. I was extremely worried about Molly this time, because she was restless. The classic signs of bloat are a dog that is obviously swollen in the middle or "bloated", is restless or just can't get comfortable, vomiting, pain, etc. (I am no expert, just what I remember). This time I was very concerned though, and do not regret taking Molly to the vet. I wish it didn't cost so much, but I am glad she is ok. Molly was in a lot of pain that night, and I have never seen her behave the way she was. I feel it is better safe, then sorry. I am not willing to take risks when it comes to my dogs, or cats. I love them all dearly, and would be devastated if something were to happen to one of them. Buddy's death still haunts me, and I miss him so much every day. This morning I actually scooped a bowl of food for Buddy as if he was still with us, I just forgot. Once I realized what I had done, it killed me inside. It has almost been a full year (1year on the 26th) and I feel like it was yesturday. I love you Buddy.

Well anyway, once we arrived back home from the vet I was pretty worried about getting out of the car. Brad got out first and the bird flew down from the rafters and swarmed Brads head. I then attempted to make a run for it and the bird almost flew into the car. I had quickly shut the car door and the bird smacked into the drivers side window! Brad threw a empty bottle of soda, and the bird flew off for a while. Brad, myself, and Molly then hurried into the house.

I am a huge animal lover, and that goes for birds too. If it were not for me loving all animals, I am sure Brad would have killed this bird by now! I understand this momma bird is trying to protect her nest, but I hope her babies hatch and they all leave soon. I am tired of being harrased by this bird lol.

Fun time at McDonnalds gone wrong!!

Today Daddy had off of work so we promised the boys we would have lunch at McDonnalds. That way after the boys ate, they could play in the play area. Well, Brad went and bought the boys their chicken nuggets and fries and we all sat down so they could eat. Everything was going fine, and they were enjoying their lunch. Brad then decided to walk over to Arby's to get himself something to eat because Brad hates McDonnalds food. Now Daddy (Brad) had forgotten his cellphone and was hesitant to leave the boys and myself at the McDonnalds since I wouldn't be able to call him. I told him all would be fine, and he walked to Arbys. A few moments after Brad had left Bradley very calmly asked me "Mommy why is my leg stuck?" I looked at him sitting acrossed the table from me and asked "your stuck?" I got up and tried to pull Bradley's leg from the skinny gap between the table and the seat. Bradley then began to panic realizing he was really was stuck and couldn't get free. Bradley started crying and begging for help. I ran to try to catch Brad, but it was too late. I then went to the counter and yelled to one of the employee's that I needed help. The employee came back, and saw how stuck Bradley really was and ran for a manager. Now, at this point it had caught the attention of quite a few people. A volunteer fire fighter came back and began helping us. He poured water over the metal bars trying to slip Bradley's leg out, but no luck. Finally the manager came back and was really surprised at how stuck Bradley's leg was. The manager then went back and filled a squirt bottle full of butter of grease (I'm not sure which) and came back. She put it all over Bradley's leg and the manager & volunteer pulled Bradley's leg out. Bradley was a brave little guy, and just wanted mommy to hold his hand. As the ordeal was coming to an end, daddy arrived and was wondering what the heck was going on. I'm sure he was puzzled by the crowd around the boys and I.

The man who helped was with I assume his wife & kids (unsure) but they were very nice people. They had a little boy about Parker's age, and a little girl Dustin's age. They wouldn't let there son sit in the middle of the indoor picnic tables because they were afraid it would happen to him also. I am really ticked off at McDonald's now, and could have had a lawsuit against them! They really need to fix those tables so it doesn't happen again. Bradley had rested his leg on the metal bars that hold the bench seat onto the table. I assume when Bradley moved he pushed his leg between the bars by accident. Bradley will deffintely have a nice big bruise on his leg now. He is still complaining how it hurts. The boys did play once all the drama was over. But it really ruined Bradley's time.

April 29th

Yesterday, April 29th, was Mommy & me muffins & tea. It was basically a mothers day show at school. The kids all sang a few songs, and sat at the tables with their mommies and had a snack. I enjoyed spending time with my oldest boys, Bradley & Parker. I didn't really enjoy being at the school. I really get bad vibes from the other mothers there. I am the youngest mom, and I feel like they all look down on me. I watched the teachers chat it up, and take pictures of the other moms with their kids, but not me. I don't really care though! As long as my boys have a good time, and learn what they need to at preschool, it doesn't bother me if the other parents there aren't friendly.

The boys singing at school.

I told Bradley to smile, he is such a goofball.

Parker eating his snack at school

April 29th is also my moms birthday. So, Brad and I spent the rest of our day cleaning the house, since my mom likes the house clean. Brad and Bradley even vacuumed. I usually do the vacuuming, but it was so cute watching daddy and Bradley do it. Daddy vacuumed the hard to get area's, and Bradley vacuumed the rest. Bradley is such a big helper! I also made a strawberry shortcake for my moms B-day. It turned out really nice, I was surprised considering I've never made one before. For dinner Brad and I took my mom out to eat. It was nice. I just hope my mom had a good time. I took a picture of her and the boys which turned out perfect!

My mom aka mom-mom and her grandsons.

Battle of the Bee's

Every year we have a problem with Bee's. It has usually been the annoying harmless carpenter bee's. Although the carpenter bee's are destructive, they have never stung anyone. This year we have yellow jackets and wasps! Yesterday, somehow a bee got into the house. Brad was upstairs getting ready for work when he yelled for me to bring a fly swatter. I sent Parker with the fly swatter, and then learned of what was going on. At that point the bee (which was a yellow jacket) had escaped Brad and his fly swatter. Brad searched that bathroom top to bottom and just couldn't find the darn thing.
Later in the afternoon right before Brad was getting ready to leave for work, Bradley had to go upstairs to go potty. Bradley was afraid to go because he knew the bee was up there some where. Brad and I assured him the bee was gone. A few moments later Brad and I hear Bradleys extremely panicked cries for help. We both shot up the stairs thinking the bee had stung him. Instead we saw a panicked Bradley screaming "Help me, the bee, please help me" and running after the bee with the fly swatter! It made me laugh that Bradley had taken the duty of killing the bee into his own hands. Daddy took the fly swatter away from him, and we searched for the bee once again. Bradley knew where it had gone and pointed Daddy into the right direction. We heard the buzzing, and Brad finished off the bee.
It didn't quite end there.. Brad put the dead bee in the toilet, and Bradley was pretty upset about it. Bradley attempted to flush the bee down the toilet, and it would not flush! The toilet did flush, but the darn bee's body floated back up!! Poor Bradley was so upset that the darn bee wouldn't go away. But finally daddy did get it to go down the toilet. Then Bradley was OK and was able to finally go potty. Poor kid! Now, the boys are afraid a bee is going to attack them when the go to the bathroom.

Vacation!

Right now I am really excited about our vacation. It's starting to feel closer, especially since we made our reservations. It’s still a little over a month away but I just can’t wait! Bradley & Parker are also both very excited. Lately their have been several cartoons that they watch that have had episodes where they are at the beach. Each time they saw these shows they were glued to the TV. I have also showed Bradley & Parker photo’s of the beach, and even the rides that are online that we will take them on.

There are a few things I am worried about though. One being the money. Brad and I have been planning our trip and trying to find “family friendly” restaurants that aren’t too pricey. Every place I have looked seems expensive. Brad and I don’t have much, and have been putting money aside trying to save for this vacation. It really is a shame though, because if we had that extra $200 that is stolen out of each of Brads paychecks we’d really be set. But unfortunately we don’t, and we are robbed out of it each pay.

The other thing I am worried about is the boys behavior! Especially my precious Dustin. Dustin is by far the most rotten. Recently we attempted to take a trip to the lake, and it did not go well. Dustin wanted out of the stroller so he could be like his brothers. So, I let Dustin out and he tried to crawl right into the water! After that Brad and I both tried sitting on the ground next to the water with Dustin so he could chuck rocks into the water. But that wasn’t good enough for Dustin, he was angry and wanted to play IN the water! So back into the stroller he went. Dustin ended up screaming the entire trip. Bradley and Parker were always real good as babies, and we always took trips to the lake. They always enjoyed it. Now, Dustin is such a hard baby, and has to have things his way or no way! Dustin’s personality reminds me so much of myself, and his looks are ALL daddy.

But all and all I still feel like our vacation is going to be great. I have those few worries, but I think the boys, Brad and myself are all going to have a good time. It will be our very 1st family vacation, and I am just so excited! Oh yeah, it will also be the 1st time I've been away from my Pebbles & Molly for so long. Ugh, I know that sounds strange, but my doggies are my kids too. I will miss them.

Hockey Game

Yesterday Brad & I went to the Hershey Bears playoff game. They won 3,2! Yea! Go Bears! It was really fun. We actually were sitting in the 2nd row right by the glass. It was a great game. Brad & I both had a good time.

Before the game I was pretty bothered by these two parents (if you want to call them that) they had 3 small children waiting to get into the building for the hockey game. Well, it was cold out yesterday and all 3 of these children had no jackets. The older two which were probably two and three were crying and shivering how cold they were. Then I noticed the infant on the mans chest in one of those baby holders. The baby had no blanket, no coat, and was only wearing a sleeper. It was extremely windy and freezing! This baby’s little lips were quivering and it’s hands were really red. I just never would have imagined parents would not think about how cold it is out, and expose such a young baby to the cold without a jacket or blanket. Maybe it’s me but it really bothered me. The mother or if you want to call her that, had a zip up sweatshirt on & in my opinion should have taken that off and covered up the baby. The father could have at least wrapped his arms around the baby and tried warming him that way, but he just left his arms at his side and acted like he didn’t even have a baby attached to him. Oh, and let me add the father was even quivering because he was that cold. That just tells you how cold it was, I personally was freezing. I just felt so horrible for that little baby.

Mommy & Me, Muffins & Tea

For mothers day Bradley & Parker are having a little celebration at preschool. It’s called “mommy & me, Muffins & Tea”. I am kind of excited to see the boys do their little song, and see what cool new craft they make. They are so proud of the things they make. Today they made a rainbow book. Bradley and Parker were both so excited to show them to me. Bradley did admit that Mrs. Dieter helped him! My favorite part of their little book is the final page that has their handprint that is the colors of the rainbow. Each finger is a different color, and the palm of the hand is purple. I give those teachers a lot of credit, those hand prints look really good! Usually the boys are so messy when it comes to paint that their hand prints would be speared all over. But in their book they are perfect, So very cute!

For mothers day I told Brad I want some pictures of the boys, especially Dustin. Bradley & Parker had lots of pictures done of them as babies, and Dustin has not. I really want a good picture of Dustin. Dustin is mommies little man, and definitely is my attachment. Dustin wants no one else but mommy.. I have to admit I love it! At times it does get annoying though, since I can’t get anything done without Dustin being attached to my leg! Plus Bradley & Parker did get their school picture this year, so Dustin needs a picture too.

Also May 20th or 21st (can’t remember which) is Bradley and Parker’s preschool graduation. I am pretty excited about it. There will be a family picnic and a graduation ceremony. I am sure it will be adorable. I will definitely be taking lots of pictures to post, and video too! Although technically Parker isn’t graduating his 2 year old class because he is staying in it again next year. I think the reason they want Parker in the 2 year old class is to keep Bradley & Parker separated from each other. Bradley and Parker fight terribly anymore. I know my brother & I fought a lot as kids, but I didn’t think we fought when I was Bradley & Parker’s age.

One more thing before I end this post.. Dustin is walking! Not a whole lot, but definitely walking. I am so proud of him. He has taken as many as 6 steps before sitting down on his own. He is very unsure of himself, but doing good. Dustin also knows he can get around much quicker by crawling.

Wii Love it!!!

Okay, so I have to admit I actually went out and bought a Wii. I NEVER thought I would actually want to go blow the money on a video game system. My hubby wanted one of these a while back, and I said maybe after income tax. Well, I played my aunt Nancy’s Wii and was instantly addicted. Holy crap I love it! My right arm does not love this thing though lol. I love playing the tennis game, bowling, baseball, and golf (go figure)!!

So now Brad and I have the sports pack, a skiing game, and Wii fit. Wii fit is great, and very shockingly I am some kinda Yoga expert LOL. I’m pretty good at some of them, and actually got expert. I am not very fit (like I once was) and I am hoping this “wii fit” helps me. It was absolutely great watching my husband use it too. This thing is SO much fun. My mom & I even spent hours playing it. This thing was worth the money. Bradley & Parker like playing it too. They do need some assistance since they are only 3 and 2, but they impressed me at how well they did do. Even Dustin paid attention and tried climbing onto the wii board. I will give this thing credit, it is unlike any other video game I have ever played. I love it!

Easter weekend

The boys had a good Easter. The Easter bunny was good to the boy's and left a trail of jelly beans leading to their baskets. Daddy had predicted Dustin would be a vacume and suck up all the jelly beans up off of the floor. Daddy was right! Dustin loves jelly beans, and all kinds of goodies.

Bradley & Parker did pretty good with their Easter egg hunt. Brad & I did one with the boys, and then my mom & I took the boys over my aunts house & my aunt Nancy did a nice Easter egg hunt for them. Aunt Nancy filled the eggs with really cool stuff. The boys had little people, and sesame street characters, race car shaped chocolates with peanut butter in the middle, and Spongebob chocolate money. The boys had a good Easter weekend. I was just really upset that Brad wasn't around on Easter and had to work. I wish he could have gone over my aunts house with us. We all got to play the Wii and it was a blast! I want a Wii so bad!! My husband was the one to originally want one, but now I want it, and we are just gonna have to get one!

Today (the day after Easter) Brad rushed to Walmart to see if he could get any good deals on the leftover Easter stuff. Brad ended up getting Bradley & Parker two baskets. One was a soccer ball & some goodies, the 2nd a basketball with goodies. Everything else was picked over, or gone. I guess everyone had the idea to run to the store the day after Easter & get some deals.

Well, here are a few pictures of our little boys on Easter!

Bradley, Parker, & Dustin hunting for eggs at Aunt Nancy's

Mommy & Daddy on Easter, right before daddy left for work.

Easter at Preschool

At preschool the boys had their little Easter parade. Of course I had run out of space on my video camera, ugh! But Brad did manage to record a big 2 minutes of their show. They sang the song “hip-pity hop Easters on it’s way”. I don’t know the real name of the song, but I remember singing it when I was a kid. Whenever I go to the preschool I feel so young! I am the youngest mom their.
Well anyway, I wanted to post some pictures of their day at preschool. They made these adorable hats. Bradley & Parker were both real proud of them. They also dyed eggs at school, and Bradley & Parker brought those home as well. The boys really enjoy preschool.

Bradley & Parker wearing the hats they made. The hats have bird nests on top. Too cute!

Singing, and dancing.

Easter treats at preschool, yummy!

Dustin walking daddy around, this was cute!
My favorite picture of Bradley & Parker. They are such handsome little boys.

Easter weekend

Easter is coming up really fast, and we are ready for it. Only there is this one problem.. Brad has to work. I am so upset about it, and it is so unfair. I say it's unfair because he is the only one stuck working both days, Saturday & Sunday. Everyone else was given either the Saturday before Easter off, or Easter day off. And then here is Brad who has 3 little boys, who are looking forward to Easter and their daddy may not even be able to be with them. Ugh! I swear it is always something anymore. Almost everyone where Brad works do not have kids, Brad is one of the only ones with a family. So it is truly unfair that they would make him work versus someone who doesn't have children. But what can you do? Nothing.

This year Brad and I were looking forward to watching the boys do a Easter egg hunt. They are at the age now where it is fun. They know what is going on, and they can have fun hunting for colored eggs full of goodies. We will probably take them somewhere to do one egg hunt, and do another at home.
I really wish Dustin would walk though. I am sure if Dustin could walk he would do really well at the egg hunt. Dustin is such a smart & alert one year old. He also follows whatever his brothers do, and learns quickly from them.

an update..

Lately this blog has been a lot of my complaints. It's kind of my spot to let out my frustration at times. But anyway, first I will update on our boys.

This past week everyone has been real sick. All 3 boys had high fevers, vomiting, and coughs. I had it also & it was terrible. I still can't seem to get rid of this stupid cough. But anyway, the boys missed school & Bradley is anxious to get back. This upcoming week at school will be a fun filled one. On Monday they will be dying Easter eggs, and on Wednesday they will be having an Easter parade! It should be fun for them, and cute for Brad & I to see.
Also there is good news for the boys for next year. The school knows we are low income, and have volunteered to let the boys go to school for the price of one. Bradley will be moving up into the 3 year old class, while Parker will be staying in the 2 yr old class. It is probably best that they are separated. I am just so grateful for these wonderful people at this church/preschool. I feel so lucky that they love our children enough to make this exception. I never would have imagined they would do this for us. I really believed the boys would just have to go without preschool next year.

Going onto another subject now;
This summer Brad and I plan on going on our very 1st family vacation. I feel that we really deserve this. Brad and I have been together for 5 years, and have yet to have a vacation. Bradley & Parker are both looking forward to playing in the sand and seeing the ocean for the first time. Bradley is anxious to make a "big sandcastle" as he tells us. Bradley also is really smart, and comes out of no where with things about vacation, for example:
Bradley-"mommy your gonna get a tan"
mommy-"what?"
Bradley-"yeah mommy, a tan, but you need sun lotion or you'll get a boo boo".
He is just so smart he catches me off guard at times. I never once mentioned getting a tan to him, or that we needed to wear sun tan lotion. So maybe he got that from school since he has been telling everyone that he is going to the beach this summer.

Also Brad & I have been seriously looking into buying a van. We are desperate for a larger vehicle. Currently we have 3 car seats crammed into the back of a sporty dodge neon. It is a very tight fit. My mom was loaning us $2,000 for a down payment for a van, but things did not work out. The reason things didn't work out was mainly because of Brad's past crap. It wasn't even his credit, it was the child support for the child that isn't even his. If that child support wasn't on his credit, and so much money wasn't stolen away from us every month, they would have approved us. It makes me sick. So, Brad went to his parents to see if they would help. But of course they wouldn't. The only help Brad and I ever receive is from my mom. My mom is always trying to help make our lives easier because she know's we don't have anything. My mom has even paid half of the boys preschool the entire time they have been attending. Brad's parents could have helped, but they offer no help. But when it comes to Brad's supposed daughter they jump to help her and his ex. I just don't get it. Brad pays so much money to his ex that we can't even survive, his ex has plenty of money to take care of his 1 supposed kid. We aren't even left with enough money to have our own apartment. If my mom wasn't around to help us, we'd probably be in a shelter. It isn't fair. I don't know how we could ever thank my mom for all she has done for us. My mom doesn't even make that much money and our whole family is struggling. With the way the economy is my mom doesn't even know if she will have a job. So, it just doesn't seem right that Brad's parents who have 2 paid off cars, and had plenty of money to spend on his supposed daughter, and have their home remodled, and buy a giant TV, can't even help their one and only child. And to specify, we didn't ask for money, we asked for help with a loan that we would be paying, not them. My mom had already helped us with the loan for our dodge, and couldn't do it a 2nd time. And if you wonder why we would need 2 vehicles.. it's because the dodge is so Brad can get to and from work, and the van would be for me to take the kids to dr. appointments, plus that way we would all fit in a vehicle when we needed to go somewhere together. Brad wants to wipe his side of the family out of our lives. This time I think I have to agree. I am seeing what Brad has been telling me all along.

He changed my life forever

This May 26th will be the one year anniversary since Buddy died. It has been ten months, and these ten months have been awful for me. Ever since Buddy died, a part of me did as well. I am not the same person I was before Buddy died. I feel so lost and hopeless. Yes, Buddy was a dog, he was my dog, and he was my family member. He was like my sibling, a brother. I have a lot of guilt about the end of Buddy’s life, and it will haunt me for the rest of my own life. Buddy was my defender, and would have given his life to protect me. I let him down for the last 4 years of his life. The years I was with Brad, Buddy was neglected on my part. Buddy annoyed me at times, he had this high pitched yappy bark, and would bark every morning around 5am. Buddy would wake up my boys and then I’d be up the rest of the day. Now, I miss that yappy bark. I miss his constant panting, and begging. I miss how excited he would get when you said “eat” or “bye bye’s” or “car” or how he loved when I‘d call him “Buddy boy.” I miss how he would sit on your lap, and you could just give him a big hug and he felt like a fluffy teddy bear. I miss his kisses, and his personality. I think about him daily, and even in my dreams.
I miss you so much Buddy.

After Buddy had past away, I felt the urge to save another dog. I truly was not ready for another dog, but I saw one in need and jumped at the chance to save a life. I ended up with this very sick puppy from NC. All of this pups brothers and sisters were euthanized using a heart stick (a horrible death). I was only able to save one puppy, our Shelly monster! Shelly was 4 pounds at the vet, a very thin sick puppy who couldn’t stop vomiting, and having bloody diarrhea. She was so dehydrated we had to have fluids administered to her under the skin every day. Our old vet, who let Buddy die, told us she wasn’t going to live. I went home and cried when I was told that, but then decided I wasn’t giving up on her that quick. So, I called the ER vet and our expensive journey began. Shelly was eventually hospitalized from being so ill, and her care was paid for by an old friend of mine who runs a wonderful no kill shelter. I am forever thankful to this person, she is also the one who gave me my Buddy. I truly think Buddy was watching over Shelly & I while this all unfolded. I had actually held Shelly when I thought she was at the end, and I asked her to say hi to Buddy for me, and tell him “I’m sorry.”
When Shelly came home from being hospitalized, she was a different dog. Energetic, and so full of life. The small, skinny, flea bag of a pup, turned into a large healthy 60 pound dog. She is so sweet and loving, and even though she is a pain I love her. She is our miracle puppy. I tell her that daily that she is my miracle pup, and she truly is.

Buddy’s death made me really open my eyes, and I put my dogs back on a level where they once were and should have always been - Right up with my kids. I have always loved my dogs, Buddy meant so much to me, more then anyone truly knows. It really kills me, that I treated him like crap. Buddy taught me a lesson: “Never treat those you love badly.” And I have to live with this. I have to live with the guilt of never seeing Buddy again, and wishing I could go back and tell him I’m sorry for yelling because he barked at 5am, or being mean because he was constantly begging. Buddy died from a heart attack, and my heart is forever broken. I was the one to find him laying on our porch after being let outside to go potty. He was laying there with his soft brown eyes open wide. He was gasping for air, and I yelled for help, and picked Buddy’s head up off the ground and held him. Watching Buddy die is imprinted in my brain, a memory that will never go away. I can still close my eyes and see it unfold, even though I wish I couldn’t. Buddy died while I held him. I was the first one to meet Buddy when I was 11 years old, and I was the last one to see him, he died at the age of 12. I took his lifeless body to the vet to have him cremated, and sat on a dog bed next to him at the vet. I cried, and didn’t want to leave him there. I must have sat there with him for 20 or 30 minutes just crying, and telling him I’m sorry, and that I love him. And it’s weird, weeks later when I went back to the vet to get his ashes.. I almost expected them to bring him out from the back, his big fluffy tail wagging, and him jumping all over the place because he was so happy to see me, just like he always had done. Instead.. The lady at the counter reached under the desk and pulled out a small brown box. She handed me his ashes, and I lost it. I am so heartbroken, and am forever scarred. I am lost without you Buddy. I love and miss you so much. RIP Buddy boy. You will NEVER be forgotten.

“If tears could build a stairway, and heartache make a lane, I’d walk the path to heaven, and bring you back again.”

Pic of Buddy & me when I was 12. My hairs messy cause we were swinging.

It's official..3,2,1

Our youngest son is ONE! His birthday on March 7th went great. Dustin was a ham, and loved all of the attention. I honestly thought Dustin was going to be very shy with everyone, but he was the opposite. He let everyone hold him, and was cheesing for the camera! He was so cute! Dustin received lots of nice gifts from his family. Dustin's 1st birthday was pretty perfect. The only thing that went wrong was the trip to the pizza shop where we had the party. On the way to Moby's pizza, a guy in a jeep ran a stop sign and just about killed us. I had the cake & cupcakes on my lap, and when Brad slammed on the breaks the cup cakes flew all over the car. I didn't have my seat belt on (which I usually always wear) and I flew forward and hurt my neck. I honestly thought the guy in the jeep was going to hit us. The last time I flew forward like that in a car was when I was actually in an accident. Ugh!! It really sucked. So Brad and I had to turn around and go home to get the extra cupcakes. I had made cupcakes for the boys with plain white icing so that they didn't get too uderly messy. Other then the ride to the party, all was perfect!

Here are a few pictures. I'm not adding all of my favs because there are too many!

Dustin on his way to his 1st birthday party


My little ham enjoying his pizza


My birthday boy. Don't you just love his shirt!?!
My wonderful parents :o) AKA mom-mom & pop-pop
My wonderful mom & Aunt Nancy :o)
My cousin's pretty wife Andrea & a sleepy Dustin.
Grammy & GrandpaDustin with birthday cake all over his face. Adorable!

Amazing

Above is a recent picture of Dustin, and on the right is a picture of Dustin taken on 5-24-08. Dustin was almost 3 months old in that picture. It just amazes me how much he has changed. Dustin is my little love bug, and I hate how fast my babies are growing up. I love them so much, and really love the times when they want their mommy. I don't look forward to the teenage years when they won't want to be around me. Right now Dustin is always with me, he follows me everywhere & always wants hugs & kisses from me (I love it).

Dustin will be celebrating his 1st Birthday on March 7th. We will be having a small birthday party our family. I am hoping it is uneventful, and fun for the boys. I just want to celebrate our youngest child's 1st year!

Today my mom and I went out shopping. We were searching for a birthday gift for Dustin. It was harder then one may think. The toy stores don't have that much of a selection when it comes to toys for 12 month old boys. We did end up finding this cute helicopter, which came with 3 balls that you put in the top and they roll out. It also makes noise, and has a string to pull it around. It's pretty cute, I hope he likes it.