For about 8 days or so I have had shortness of breath. I finally couldn't deal with it anymore and called my DR. The doctor told me to go to the ER. I then waited for my hubby to get home which wasn't until 2am. My mom watched our boys while my husband and I went to the ER. We were there until about 11:30.
It had to have been one of the scariest times in my life.. so far. Honestly I thought I was going to die. The Dr. ordered several different tests to be done, just with my blood. We waited for the results and they were not good. One test came back that I had clotting in my blood. Which the Doctor's were trying to rule out a blood clot in my lungs. Well, after hearing that I may have a blood clot in my lung I lost it. I was then ordered to have an ultrasound, an X-ray, and a CT scan. The worst of the tests was the CT scan. I have very tiny veins, and every time a nurse has tried to give me an IV it has been a disaster!
When I found out for the CT scan I needed an IV, I started freaking out. Brad (my wonderful husband) held my hand as I sobbed like a baby. I felt so stupid, and even stupider now! Well, after the IV was finally put in after having this mean nurse poke and probe in my arm (which hurt like hell) I was told I would have this stuff put in my IV so that they could see my insides on the CT scan. AHHH!! Ok, so before I go on, I am a total wimp when it comes to these things. So anyway, I was balling like a baby, and petrified about the unknown. In the end it was not that horribly bad, and did not take that long.
Waiting for those results was horrible. I just wanted to know what my fate would be. The doctors were discussing hospitilizing me for 3 days, while I was administered blood thinning medications to clear the clots in my lungs. Once the results came they told me great news "no clots". I was so happy, but the Dr. had a not so happy look. Oh great! I knew something was coming next.
The Dr. then went on to tell me that sometimes when they do the CT scans they find other problems. One problem they found - I was already aware of, and is not a big deal. The second problem I was not aware of. I have an enlarged heart. I was very worried about this, and I still am. The Doctors do not know what is wrong with me. I am still having shortness of breath, and pain in my chest. I am really scared! I have no insurance either! My appointment with my Dr. today told me I will need an echo cardiogram (I hope I spelled that right?). So, now I have to try to get some kind of insurance with this place who helps low income familys. I am really hoping we qualify, which I am sure we should.
During all of the craziness at the hospital, and all of the unknown, plus the feeling like I was going to die terrified me. It terrified me because I was afraid I would never see my 3 little boys again. I was crying to Brad, telling him all I wanted was to be able to see my boys. I want to be around for them, and watch them grow up. There isn't even any words as to how much I love my children. They are my world, and the thought of not being around for them terrifies me. I know I need to be around to watch over them, and protect them. I also don't want to leave behind my husband or my mom. My family means so much to me. I am so lucky to have my wonderful husband, who loves me just as much as I love him, and a perfect mom who does whatever she can for her children. I am lucky to have such a great family, and I don't want to leave this behind. I may be over doing all of this, but I am truly scared.
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