Stressed

It seems like whenever things are going ok, there is always something that pops up to remind my husband and I of the bad. And when I say the "bad" it's always this one thing..
Currently we are very financially strapped. We would be doing pretty good if it wasn't for a very stupid mistake that my husband made in his past. It all started a little over 3 years ago when I was pregnant with our oldest child Bradley. My husband received a wage attachment (I won't mention for what) which has made our lives a living hell. This wage attachment has screwed up everything. We live with my mom, who I am extremely grateful for. My mom has helped out my husband and I more then she's needed to. Thanks to my mom our boys have everything they need.

I just wish that my husband and I could have our own place, and not have to live with my mom. I am always feeling guilty for all my mom does for us.

Well, anyways today we received a letter in the mail claiming that DRO (thats what I'll call it, if you figure it out good for you) wasn't receiving their money. Them not receiving their money is total BS because we have the proof it's been taken out of my hubbys check. So now Brad has to appear in court and lose a day of pay! I am so ticked off and wish so badly that that part of my husbands past didn't exist. I am not the only one either, my husband wishes up and down that he could change things. It really is ashame their isn't such a thing as a time machine.

Everyone makes mistakes, and unfortunately you can't take them back. I've made my share of them, and I have to live with it. Brad has obviously made some himself, only his past can't be forgotten because every week when his pay check comes we are reminded.

Well, thats enough complaining from me. It's all just so frustrating how DRO can take so much money and leave a family of 5 with nothing to live off of. With the way the economy is, and all the rising living costs it's impossible for us to make it on our own right now. Brad and I both wish it could all just be erased from his past.

Feild Trip

Our boys will be going on their first ever field trip for preschool. It will be to a farm. Bradley and Parker will get a hay ride, and be able to pick out a pumpkin, 4 apples, 2 gourds, and will get some apple sauce and cider. I'm looking forward to it. The field trip is planned for October 23rd and Brad and I both plan on going with the boys.

I figured I'd also add to this post a picture of the boys project from school today. I always love what they make. I know they had some assistance with these. Bradley obviously glued all the pieces to his project down though. There was lots of wet glue smeared!

Today when we were leaving the preschool it was so cute! Bradley saw his little friend Megan and started yelling bye to her. He kept yelling "Bye Megan" out the window. Brad asked Bradley if that was his girlfriend, and Bradley quickly replied back "Yes". How cute! I love how innocent they are. It was just a cute moment. Also Bradley has really gotten to be observant. When Brad pulled out of the parking lot and as we were driving, Bradley told me I wasn't wearing my seat belt. Bradley demanded I put it on! So now I will have someone to remind me to put it on, at least that will prevent us from getting a ticket!

Rainbow

I have to share these pictures. It was a very rainy weekend. Saturday it rained all day, and just when you thought it couldn't rain any harder it would. Finally on Sunday once the rain was stopping around 6pm, I took these pictures.

So pretty.

Our artist

Bradley is our oldest child and so far the most artistic. Bradley loves to draw and paint. Having said this sometimes Bradley's creativity reaches the walls or floor! Bradley has decorated the dinning room wall with drawings of circles and squiggly lines of color! Here is a favorite picture of mine from when I caught Bradley in the act with some chalk. I must say though, Bradley drew a really good stick figure!

Just a few pictures

My mom and I baby sat for my brother's kids today. It was a rainy mess outside! We took a few pictures. Baby AJ is growing very fast. My brother should be back from Iraq October 1st but won't be home from that time for another week or more. He will have to stay with his unit for some reason until they are released to come home.

My boys all had a good time playing with there cousins. They are all fun to be around.I love this picture (above) April and I were going to take a picture together and Nathan jumped in. They are so cute.

Here's baby AJ. He's growing so fast. He has such pretty dark blue eyes.

I had to add a picture of my cutie pie. Dustin had taken over all his little cousins toys. Dustin didn't know what to make of AJ, he would try crawling over to him on the floor and just stare!

Sleep? Whats that?

Since I've had my boys I haven't been getting much sleep. I feel as if I've been pregnant for 3 years, and all during my pregnancies I've been up several times during the night with one of my boys, or because of being uncomfortable.

This past week my youngest son Dustin has been up a lot during the night. He has a cold, and has been pretty misserable. Dustin also has been ticked off at night because he's been wearing his helmet for hours before bed.

I just wish for one night I could go to sleep, have uninterrupted sleep, and get to sleep in until I felt refreshed. It's unrealistic because it will never happen! But I can still wish! Of course I wouldn't trade these years for anything. I know before I know it my boys will be grown, and I'll be missing those midnight cries for mommy.

Bradley was crying for me the other night, because he claimed the monsters where coming. I never even knew Bradley knew what monsters where besides cookie monster. I assume he saw it off tv somehow. I've always been big on not wanting my kids watching TV. I myself feel TV is something that should be very limited. I personally hate TV, it promotes laziness! There are the occasional shows I like watching, but I rather be out having fun with my kids and family.

I've rambled on enough for tonight.

In memory of Buddy

“He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart.”

Today marks 4 months since my dog Buddy died. With time your pain seems to lesson but my memory of it hasn't faded. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of Buddy. After having him for almost twelve years, and him being with me through so much I'm still scarred from losing him.

I figured today I'd make a blog just for Buddy, to remember what a great dog and friend he was through the years. I love and miss you Buddy. I will never forget you. I wish you were still here.


Above: Buddy at 9 months old. He was wearing his new collar and leash I had picked out for him from Petsmart.

Above: I still remember this day. It was the 2nd day Buddy was home after my mom had taken me to pick out his leash and collar.


Above: Buddy and me X-mas morning in 1997.

Above: Gentle Buddy. Buddy loved kids. He was trying to kiss my niece Brittney while she was in the tub. 97'

Above: WOW, it's amazing looking back. This is a picture of Buddy and Pebbles. Pebbles is 7 months old here. She doesn't look like the same dog. Buddy and Pebbles were great friends. I remember when I brought Pebbles home and had her hidden in my room from my parents, Buddy and Pebble were playing so hard bouncing all over I was afraid they would give it away that I was hiding a puppy!

Above: Buddy and Pebbles sharing a rawhide shoe. Buddy was so sweet. I really miss him.

Above: Buddy saying hello to Woody. This shows how gentle he was.

Above: Buddy with Brittney and Pez. Brittney had put a hat on Buddy too. Buddy never minded.

Above: This time it was me who dressed him up. I think he was embarrassed, but he didn't mind.

Above: Pebbles, Buddy and me. My first two dogs.

Above: Is the last picture I ever took of Buddy. Looking at his picture makes me cry. It captures his big brown eyes and his sweet expression. It makes me think and remember how much I let him down over these past few years. I ignored him a lot because of my kids and everything going on. And because of those last few years of Buddy's life I'll never forgive myself.

RIP Buddy. You brought me so many good memories, and you were my friend when I needed you. You taught me so much.

Some may say it's "just a dog" but for those who feel that way they've never really had a bond with an animal before. A dog is better then most people in this world. Dogs have unconditional love, and show so much kindness. That's something that a lot people don't have. Dogs also don't stab you in the back, or betray you. The best friend you could ever have is your dog...

Why why why?

Why is it that my almost 3 year old son has to respond to everything I say with why.

mommy: it's time for preschool

Bradley: why

mommy: so you can go have fun with your friends

Bradley: why

mommy: Because you have to

Bradley: why

GRRR! I love him to death but his favorite word "why" is driving me crazy! I can explain things to him a thousand different ways and he will still respond with why!

Also now Bradley's younger brother Parker is starting to do the same thing. So now instead of having just Bradley constantly asking me why about everything I say, Parker is doing it now too!

Computer virus

Why are there people out there that feel the need to ruin others computers? I will never understand it. I guess it keeps those virus protection makers in business.
The really horrible thing is I have virus protection on my computer and it isn't really protecting my computer. My virus protection is up to date, and hasn't prevented me from getting slammed by a virus.
Today yet again I got something that popped up about Anti-Virus 2009. Anti-Virus 2009 is a fake virus program that can destroy your computer if it gets downloaded. It can also scam you out of money. I am not a computer genies, but I know a thing or two about computers so I knew the first time I had Anti-virus 2008 on my computer. It was a fake spy ware virus that messed up my computer. I still don't have access to my screen saver or background image.
When I saw this pop-up on my computer for the Anti-Virus 2009 I didn't acknowledge it at all like the computer guy told me. I was told that just by clicking on it, the virus could download. So I disconnected from the internet, and restarted the computer. I'm not sure if it was the smartest move or what. Honestly I didn't know what to do. So far I don't have any signs of this stupid virus on my computer, so thats good. But the sad thing really is that my virus protection isn't alerting me of this crap!

Preschool crafts

Yesterday Bradley and Parker had another craft that they brought home from school. It's always exciting to see what they made. This time they made these apple creatures. Bradley was real excited to show it to me. Parker didn't really care. The teacher told me Parker is more into playing, and not so into the crafts like Bradley is. Here is a photo of their latest project!



Parker refused to look at the camera, like he does most of the time for pictures.

Work...

I was employed for two years at a dog grooming shop. I never asked for the job or applied. One day this woman (Heather) calls me because she had heard good things about me and asked if I wanted the job. I told her I'd take it, and started working part time. After about a month of working part-time I began working more until it was a full-time position.

During this time I just did my job and did a damn good job at it. This woman raved how I was the best groomers assistant she'd ever had. Later she went on to ask if I wanted to be trained to groom. I was skeptical but had been working in a grooming shop since I was 16. I so badly had wanted to groom dogs, it was something I knew I'd be good at, and it was working with animals which I love. Well, I soon became pregnant with my 3rd son and during my pregnancy she was "training" me. The training she provided was not what I expected. It consisted of her leaving me with the dog with very little direction given to me. I was so confused and nervous I'd do something wrong. I didn't want to mess up a dogs hair cut when the costumer was paying good money to have them cut. My boss never even asked the dogs owners if it was ok that she had a trainee working on their dog. At least if she had told them that I would have felt somewhat better knowing they were ok with it if I made a mistake.
I came into work one day a week for FREE. I stood around waiting for her to instruct me on what to do most of the time. Once I had some direction I'd do what needed to be done. Nothing was ever good enough, even when I thought I did good. I would always leave angry! I was giving up time away from my boys to work for her for free. Not only was I grooming one of her dogs that she was being paid for absolutely free, but she expected me to clean her shop before I left to. What the hell!!! She was crazy! But she kept telling herself she was doing me a favor, and said it on several occasions.

On top of everything my boss's sister-in-law lives across the street from my family. My husband began to hear rumors, and they kept on spreading. A friend of my husbands told him who had started the rumor's. Not a big surprise who started them, my boss's sister-in-law. Certain things the woman spread were only things my boss knew about. For example my dogs, and cats. It was just one thing after another.

It all finally ended when I came back from maternity leave. I had worked a total of eight days, and she claimed I "wasn't living up to her expectations". I was so angry. I never asked to be trained to groom, and when she offered I thought she would have actually trained me rather then what she did and called it training. It's all upsetting to me. I feel like I've wasted two years of my life, and valuable time with my family.

But as for the dog grooming, I'm done with it. I'm stuck on what I'm going to do job wise. My first thought is to go to school for something. Right now I am still grooming my grandparents dog. I do a good job, even though my boss said I wasn't "living up to her expectations". I know I did good because of what clients said. I got a ten dollar tip the one day on a dog I groomed, they were impressed. So everything I learned from my first grooming job is what really taught me how to groom. I loved my 1st job at the grooming shop in Md. The only reason I left was because the owner closed the shop. Ms. Barb (the owner) taught me so much. Back then I enjoyed working, and loved my job. I can honestly say my recent former employer made me hate my job.

I am currently a stay at home mom, and have been since the beginning of August. I love being home with my kids, and wish it was permanent. But with the way the economy is I eventually have to work. Right now is my time with my kids, and trying to figure out what I will do job wise in the future. Most likely it will involve school.

Our day at the Lake

Brad and I took the boys to the lake after preschool. It was so much fun watching them attempt to skip rocks on the water.
Dustin sat on the rocky beach and examined all the rocks. Bradley and Parker watched daddy carefully trying to skip rocks just like daddy. It was so cute!
I was able to take lots of really good pictures, which is usually hard to do!

The Helmet...

I HATE Dustin's helmet. His first full hour in it was torture, it may have been worse for me just watching him in it, then torture for Dustin. Dustin did a lot of whining and some crying but I kept him busy to keep his mind off the helmet. When Dustin was busy he didn't seem to notice the helmet to much.

What I dread the most is as Dustin gets used to the helmet he is supposed to wear it for 23 hours a day. The only time he is supposed to get relief from the helmet is an hour during bath time each day. I feel so guilty like this is all my fault. I have seen some other babies with these helmets, so I know this problem isn't uncommon. It has gotten more common since babies are supposed to be placed on their backs to sleep. Tummy time is very very important. But with that being said, I did do tummy time with Dustin and carried him around a lot. Dustin was breast fed for his first 3 months, and I always tried repositioning him so that his head wouldn't be flat. Nothing worked. Dustin was always so stubborn and even looking at all his pictures I've taken he is always looking one direction.

I just hope Dustin can adjust to his helmet, and it doesn't cause him much discomfort. I love my baby boy, and don't want him being miserable.

Lions, Tigers and Bears Oh my!

I'm starting to really look forward to Halloween. This will be Dustin's first Halloween and I had bought his costume back when I was pregnant with him last year after Halloween. I bought this really cute tiger costume that I lucked out with and got on clearence. Well, my mom had the idea to make Bradley a bear, and Parker a lion. So my mom is making them their costumes. Bradley's costume is getting close to being done and so far it is so cute! Bradley tried it on yesterday and was running around roaring like a bear. He is very excited to be a bear for Halloween. Parker isn't quite sure about it all, but he knows he's going to be a lion.

Fall is my favorite time of year with all the tree's changing color and the weather starting to get cool. My other favorites are Christmas, and Easter. I look forward to all the fun my kids have. Not to mention this year will be a first for Dustin with everything, except Easter because he was a tiny baby then.

Something else exciting about Halloween this year is that my big brother James will be home from Iraq! I am so glad he will finally be home where he belongs! James hasn't seen his youngest son since he was a few days old, and AJ has grown sooo much! Babies grow up so fast, and it's sad my brother has missed a lot of AJ growing. Here is a picture of when my brother was home last holding his baby boy. This was about 5 days before he went back to Iraq.

Here is another picture of baby AJ from that day.

And here is a picture of AJ a month from when this picture was taken. I don't have any other more recent pictures, but it shows how much they change and how quick!



I am just very excited about everything fall is bringing this year. It's just a beginning of good things to come. My big brother coming home from Iraq after being their for about 18months, my youngest son Dustin's first Halloween, and just watching all my baby boys have fun dressing up in their Halloween costumes, and playing in the fallen leaves. I love fall.

Dustin

Dustin is my youngest son who is by far the happiest baby. Dustin always has a smile on his face and seems to love everyone he meets.
Dustin was recently diagnosed with plagiochephaly and needs to wear a helmet to correct this. I feel so horrible making my beautiful baby boy wear this helmet. Dustin absolutely hates it! He is soaked with sweat when I take it off of him, and it looks as if it's crooked. Even though Dustin hates it, nothing will take that perfect smile off his face.


Eventually Dustin is supposed to wear this helmet 23 hours a day! I just can't imagine that. I am only supposed to take it off for bath time each night and then he is supposed to wear it until the doctor thinks his problem is fixed.

I just really hate putting Dustin through this. Dustin also has a hole in his heart that we are hoping closes. Dustin has to be checked by his heart doctor every 6 months. I am so lucky to have him, and we all love Dustin so much.

Preschool

Bradley and Parker are now preschoolers! They attend their new school two days a week for 2.5 hours at a time. Bradley and Parker are starting to really enjoy it now. But on their first few days it was horrible trying to leave them at school. On their first day they were both so excited before we left the house. They both went outside and posed with the school bags they got to decorate.


Then once we arrived at the school, they were afraid. Bradley just had a really mad face, and Parker just looked so scared.


Luckily on that first day I was able to sneak out of their class without the boys noticing. When I picked them up from school Bradley and Parker both told me they missed me. Bradley also said how he cried.
On the second day I wasn't able to sneak out because Bradley knew what was going on and wouldn't let go of me! Bradley clung to my shirt and the teacher tried taking him from me but he had a death grip on my shirt! My husband Brad had to uncurl Bradley's fingers off of me and we had to hurry and leave. We could hear Parker and Bradley both screaming as we walked threw the hall and out the door to the lobby. We were told to wait a while in the lobby to make sure they calmed down. Well, we waited and every time that door was opened to the preschool we could hear Bradley and Parker screaming! That was horrible, and I felt so guilty for leaving them.
After about ten minutes we asked another parent leaving if they could still hear two little boys screaming. She said the only child screaming was her daughter. So it was finally safe to leave.
Thankfully the boys are doing much better with being dropped off now, and enjoy playing with the other kids. Bradley tells me his favorite friend is the only little girl in his class named Megan. Bradley always seems to make friends with the little girls first. The boys also have a little friend named Ethan.

Our day at the fair

"Rain Rain Go away!"

It rained and rained the entire day! It started off as soon as we parked the car and we loading our boys up into the double stroller and umbrella stroller. The rain started off as a light drizzle. Bradley was so concerned that his head was getting wet at that point. Little did Bradley know he'd be soaked later on in the day.

After we went into the fair grounds the rain was picking up pace so Brad and I decided to go into the building with all the animals. Bradley loved looking at the animals. Dustin enjoyed it too, and seemed to be so amazed by the sounds. Our middle son Parker, just had a blank look on his face the entire time, like we were boring him with it all.

When we left the building with the animals the rain had picked up pace. I covered up Parker and Dustin in the double stroller. Dustin was very sheltered from the rain, but his toes still ended up getting wet. Parker's legs got soaked, as did Bradley's. Mommy and daddy for that matter where drenched!

All of the rides where shut down, and the majority of the games. It was so disappointing. Bradley and Parker really enjoyed the train display that was inside, and the building with all the rabbits and birds.

Later in the day Brad let the boys each play some games. Bradley did really good with guessing numbers for the chocolate game. Bradley won quit a few times. It was adorable watching Bradley play the "pick a duck" game. Bradley did it twice. He played once for himself, and once for Parker who was afraid to grab a duck. Bradley spotted what duck he wanted and chased it around the pool until he caught it.

Bradley and Parker both played the fishing game, and each caught a shark. Parker was so very proud of himself. They each picked out a big blow up soccer ball.

At the end of the day Bradley was sick of the stroller and wore his child harness and leash. Bradley had refused to hold our hands so that was the reason behind the leash. I explained to Bradley that he had to be like our dogs and wear a leash because he wouldn't listen. So the rest of the time there Bradley tugged on the leash and barked like a dog. Brad and I got a real kick out of it. Bradley had fun doing it, and also jumping in the many huge puddles to splash daddy and me!
I really wish it hadn't of rained so hard all day. We could have dealt with the drizzle all day and would have had more fun. But the pouring rain was horrible! Everything was affected by the rain. The pig race wasn't the same as last year because the couldn't have any of the electric equipment hooked up so it was just a guy yelling what was going on, and you could hardly hear. All and all though, I think Bradley had a good time. Parker is iffy whether or not he had fun. I do know Parker enjoyed the trains, and the fishing game. Dustin just enjoyed being out, and seeing new stuff.

One more thing about the day before I end this.. In the building with the rabbits and all the different birds. Brad was holding the boys up so they could see the turkeys. The turkey kept gobbling at Bradley and Parker, and they just didn't know what to make of it. Bradley and Parker were pretty scared of that turkey!


Here are a few pictures of our day.