Just thinking..

Lately I have really been changing my veiws or certain issues. I have tried so hard to just think about my husband and chidren, and forget about all of the other "issues". I can not stress over things that I can not change or fix. Even though I am still very angry about them to say the least. But anyway, I guess the point of this particular post is so that I can just blab & complain about whatever I feel like.

First, Brad and I have been looking around at some different homes. Currently we live with my mom because of hard financial times. Right now, we are doing OK, but I don't know for how long. I am sure the time is limited. When ever Brad and I start doing good, there is always this one ugly piece of my husbands past that screws us over. But we have still been looking. I found a home in Red Lion that was real nice, 3 bedrooms, and was really in good shape for being cheap. Then my husband found out their could be some layoffs because of the bad economy. So now I am afraid to commit to buying a house. That scares me. Not only does layoffs scare me, but so does my husbands past. I don't want to commit to something, and then - surprise! I really wish my husbands past could be erased, and those two did not exist. Life would be so great!

Second, I have finally decided to not be "pushy". I am letting my husband decide when he makes certain phone calls and visits. I am not being the "good guy" anymore. I am so sick of being the nagging wife, and saying; "you have to call, be nice, we need to go visit". I have so many problems going on right now, I have just finally had enough of it all. I truly feel bad, but it's not my job to make everyone else happy, when my life is complicated enough.

Third, the whole situation going on with my dad and brother - All I can do at this point is pray, tell the truth, and fight fire with fire. You know the saying "what comes around, goes around"? Well, it's about time that comes into play. I am sick of my family always being shit on. Enough is enough! FIGHT BACK. Everything Druggie has are lies, can't the truth over come the lies? I guess this time we just really need to trust in god for the right outcome.

Well, I guess that has been enough rambling on from me. I am just so frustrated. But.. I am really thankful for what I do have in life. I just really wish all the constant problems, and the lies would end. I wish I could understand how someone could lie and ruin another person's life all out of revenge. It really makes me sick to know, people can be that cruel and have no conscience. Another reason I like animals over people!